Swedes, don't be stingy!

My husband, who is from England, was faking just like you when he came here. Is what you write typically Swedish, perhaps? I really don't know.
Personally, I find it much more fun to be invited and to invite myself. We invite each other for coffee even at work and take turns. Significantly more fun than paying individually.
Exception: notice it's an explicit potluck where everyone contributes something.
And I would never offer an ox file either, finger prawns are not for us.

I SOOOO agree with you!

Had a friend (former friend) who was just like that. She was happy to be invited but when you went to her she calculated the smallest cost. If you asked her if you wanted to come there and have lunch, she had calculated what it would cost - and sometimes we shared the costs when we shopped and then if she had some at home in the fridge, she calculated what we would pay for what we took there.
Nope, that's going AWAY! 😉

It's interesting that you bring this up, and it's one of many reasons why I feel more comfortable outside of Sweden. Swedes in general (serious generalisation of course) are often quite stingy with food, entertainment and social time compared to other cultures. Here in Australia, you can sit around all day grilling and chatting for no particular reason but just because you enjoy being together. The more you share (according to your own ability of course) the more you get back. In every way! Strictly speaking, it definitely makes for a more frugal life. A: Of course it's the same motorhome that has been in my blog before, but I think it's so cool that I wanted to include it again!

During all the years I still lived in Sweden, the dinner party culture did not exist in my circles. You had coffee loudly and freely. It was only when I came to France that this question came up. Here you can hardly meet without eating something together. Food is such an incredibly important social phenomenon. When you are invited, you almost always bring a bottle of wine (which you rarely open because the hosts have already decided which wine goes with their food creation). For birthdays and other special occasions, you can bring a bottle of champagne. Flowers aren't bad either. I always take sweets with me for the children. I think Sweden hasn't come that far yet, it's still the coffee culture and the Friday cosy that rules.

My view, having lived in Sweden for many years, is that people like to take, but find it incredibly difficult to give. Let alone thank you, you don't. In general, in the circles we have come into, people walk in "small shoes".

As an example, I can say that over the years we have had all the children's playmates and friends on board. Almost every day we have been able to ensure that at least one ate with them, so there has been food for that. It is the same children who have come .... but if our children have been with their friends, they come home when the family has to eat. Always. A little strange, but we have maintained that WE want to - we think it is nice to also be able to be together during meals.

I really recognise your description. Especially since I have lived in a multicultural family with family members from all corners of the world. They are much more generous than Swedes are! Agree with many of the blog posts.

It has for several years "gone downhill with the bidding culture" in Sweden. I think it is time to realise that meeting and bidding is the most important thing! It was better in the past when it was really scarce for many, but then we were trained in our workplaces that "everything must be profitable" and now we see the result, believes a happy pensioner!

Exciting post and discussion! I certainly agree on many points. But I don't know if Swedes are particularly stingy? I rather feel that many are "ashamed" a bit to "be invited", as if they feel they "owe something back" then? Or "right should be right" (whatever that is?!). Perhaps we are more pretentious in a kind of "I shouldn't be too proud" way? This is certainly very much related to Swedes' culturally poor social skills, just as pointed out in the comments above, the difficulties in socialising with new acquaintances. A major cultural handicap that has produced many new foreign Swedes over the years! Hugs!

Sharing the cost of the meat afterwards sounds awful! We spend a lot of time together and have many food-loving friends. And there are different variations. When we do something here at home, we offer everything, it feels natural. But often we socialise outdoors on a rock by the lake or at a barbecue area, and then we often suggest knyte. But maybe it's typically Swedish, but it doesn't feel like stinginess.

I also think that if you're buying, you're buying. However, I usually recommend my friends to bring their own wine if they want to drink it because neither I nor my husband drink wine and do not have the faintest idea of what is good.